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What Will I Miss?

So, yeah, my big brother died.  Very suddenly too.  You know how we think we're all going to be here forever?  Or, when someone does leave, we'll be prepared for it?  Yeah.  Not so in reality.  Sigh...  I love you forever Huck!

Well, as I said in the previous post - change in plans.  I wasn't going to make it home for the funeral, I was going to just send money instead.  It was a choice, either send money or pay for travel and not send as much money.  I spoke to a friend who said that I absolutely had to be there for the funeral.

"It's imperative that you be there for him.  Just make it one way," he said, "then worry about how you'll get back afterward."

That struck me.  I was thinking to myself, yeah - I could come home, crash on a family member's couch and work for a couple of weeks and come back.  But, the thought of coming back... did I even want to come back?  Did I need to come back?  What will I miss if I don't come back to Vegas?  And the answer to that question was, "nothing."  In my heart of hearts, I didn't want to come back. I wanted to stay home.  I won't miss a thing.  In fact, I would miss a lot of things in Connecticut.  I AM missing a lot of things at home.  My little girls, my big girl, my sons, my fam, my siblings, grass, trees, birds, squirrels, cookouts!  I feel like I am missing so much.  Thus, I am making the a one-way trip. I'm not coming back and I'm really happy about that.  Huck did that for me.  He brought me home.

I was initially thinking I had to stay here for a year.  That's when my lease is up.  So, what the heck, I'll have a place to visit when things start to cool down in Connecticut.  But for now - I'm outta here!

And my Fremont Street fans -  I love them!  They have all expressed that they will miss me.  One man actually cried.  He was one of my body guards.  He'd come by often when I was performing and if someone was talking to me - he'd stand back in the distance, point and give me the look -- is that person bothering you?  I'd smile and wave at him, letting him know that all is well.  He would nod, move on and come by later.  I couldn't believe he cried when I told him I was leaving.

He said, "Your talent is amazing.  There's no way should should be singing on the street here.  You should be singing on the big stages. It's because you're Black and that's how things work here." 

I can say from what I've seen and experienced in Vegas, there is a lot of truth in what he is saying...

Someone explained to me that I really uplifted people with the music and I am such a vibrant, nice person.  I am nice to everybody and made everyone feel good and welcome.  I say hello to all of the regulars - not just the street folks, but the people who work out there.  I ask everyone how they're doing.  The street performers too are really cool.  Well, that's all God.  I can't take any credit.  However, I did enjoy the farewell breakfast, lunch and all the warm hugs and extra pennies from the homeless people in my tip box!  I love people in general.  But, these people I really love and will miss.  I will hold everyone dear in my heart and in my prayers as I live my life.  Even if I never see any of them again, I will

Photo by a fan!

remember them with love and send that love their way.

I found what I needed to find in Vegas.  It's all in me now.  I'm grateful to have these new treasures and to continue the journey at home.  The funeral is Friday.  So I can go to that and be a wreck and then move on.  I've got work lined up starting Monday.  I love how God (or life) just takes care of everything for me.  The way is made.  I'm doing what makes me happy.  I feel good!  Thanks Huck for bringing me home.

Give me a little time to get situated and I'll be back out performing in Connecticut and I will finish that CD.  It's been eternally open-ended, but I'm going to slap a December 1st release date on it.  And - I will be releasing it under my own label and doing my own distribution.  Oh, excitement is!!!

Stay tuned.  I'll be back!

 

 

About Tomaca

Singer, recording artist, songwriter, Child of the Earth

And what say you?

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